Anchor

Anchor

My anchor ring finally arrived! I had been meaning to wear it during my exams as a reminder that Jesus is my anchor. However, it arrived after my exams, but nonetheless, I feel like it has a deeper meaning because it serves as a strong reminder that Jesus is not just my anchor during exams.
He is my anchor after my exams, when results come out and for my future. I don’t just need Jesus during my exams and during the hard times, I need to remain firm in him in everything.

What does it mean to me?

It is the time of the year that every student dreads – exams. It’s the time of the year that I do not even step into the library because I hear that you can smell fear there… 

So my friends and I stay in our college common room to revise, which is really useful because there is a whiteboard there for us to regurgitate the information we have desperately tried to cram into our heads. It’s those kind of things that allow you to catch a glimpse of what your friends are studying. 

One day, I chanced upon my theology friend writing facts down on the whiteboard regarding the New Testament. The board was filled with ideas, theories, facts, people, characters, controversies, terminology.

And I looked at it, and wondered ‘What does the New Testament mean to me?’

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(Please ignore the ‘The Sun Is Not Shining’ part. As you know, we have many rainy days in the UK, hence those words…)

 

In the midst of all these facts, what does the New Testament mean to me? What does this new covenant meant to me? What is the personal worth of the bible to me?

Is it just a jumble of words to you? Or do the words condense and form the breath of life. Do lessons of life, character and virtue rise from the text? Somehow, I always find it unusual when people talk about Christianity as a religion, rather than a relationship. And this is exactly what the whiteboard was trying to challenge: Religion or Relationship? 

Indeed, theological arguments and theories help to mould the way we perceive and better understand Christianity and God, but when we remove all those academic theories, what does Christianity mean to you and me in our hearts? I will not attempt to answer this question in this post because I believe that each of our testimonies bring about different insights into what the bible and Christianity means to each of us. 

Nevertheless, I think that this whiteboard full of facts reminded me that Christianity is not solely about facts and how much you can analyse the bible. These are useful, but it ultimately boils down to our very hearts, our own experiences and our faith. 

So let me ask again:

Remove those theories of Calvanism and Armenianism, pre-determinism, Pauline letters etc – what does Christianity mean to you? 

Just a thought ~

Iphone App!

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I chanced upon this phone app that has a bible verse for everyday. It’s really lovely because the verses always speak to me and the background pictures are amazing! Obviously, this post is for no marketing purposes … because I’m not famous enough for that 😛 (jokes) … but it’s a very nice app.

It’s called ‘Daily Bible Verse Inspirations’.

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Anchor

What does it mean to say that Jesus is my anchor?

‘We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.’ ~ Hebrews 6:19

In the middle of a storm, will I be able to say that Jesus is still my anchor?

The anchor may not take me back to shore, but it makes sure that I stay alright in the choppy seas. The anchor roots me to the depths of the seabed –  un-moveable, unshakeable, firm.

In the midst of this, can I say that I will be content? Though I may not know where I am headed, is Jesus still my anchor?

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Selah

Beauty

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for that sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks.
She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Knowing Facts Is Not What Counts

Sweet Rains

IMG_2487 grackle A grackle on Kure Beach in North Carolina

Yet another post inspired by ‘coincidences’.  My daughter and I watched the movie Good Will Hunting, and it contains a scene in which Sean, the counselor, expresses a realization about Will, the troubled young genius he is counseling.  It parallels the quote by the late American physicist, Richard P. Feynman.  Sean said:

“So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written.  Michelangelo, you know a lot about him.  Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right?  But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel.  You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that…. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, “once more unto the breach dear friends.” …

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‘Goldify’ Me

‘The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.’
1 John 2:17

Father, give me a heart receptive to do Your will. Give me eyes to see Your will. Give me feet to walk according to Your will.

Just a few weeks ago, I was very nervous about exams. ‘God, I need to get a 2:1. I must. I want.’ It wasn’t really a prayer, to be honest. It was more of a demand.

Those feelings of fear and anxiety had stirred within me for about a month, until just two weeks ago, I sat down and reflected.

Q: Why are you afraid?
A: Because I want this grade
Q: Why do you want this grade?
A: Because I want to get an internship in a top law firm
Q: Why do you want that?
A: Because…

I couldn’t believe what my answer was going to be. It’s not that I didn’t know it, it’s just that I didn’t want to admit it.

I wanted status. Recognition. Success. I wanted to meet the world’s expectations.

All along, deep inside of me, I had this feeling that I was going to be known as one of those people who followed God to a place she had never really heard of, and then she would emerge triumphant with a job, status and relationship. Those kind of people that I always heard about and wanted to be. To put it bluntly, I wanted God to reward me with success and riches because I did His will.

But the thing I never really got until now, was that if God called me to go to Durham, it wouldn’t stop there. God’s plans are for a lifetime. He wouldn’t write your story halfway. God’s plans for me go way beyond just Durham. It’s a journey of a lifetime, and it’s not always a journey that we want.

I remember sitting on the train going back to Durham. I had just finished a law internship, and I had seen glamour, skyscrapers, brands, canapés. I saw and salivated: God, I want.

And as I slumped back into my seat on the train, I saw field after field of rapeseeds. (Rapeseeds are these yellow flowers that are harvested oil).

‘Fields of gold’

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Those were the words that kept flashing in my mind. And yet, almost immediately, the words ‘Be content’ flashed side-by-side to ‘Fields of gold’.

‘… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.’ Philippians 4:11

Be content. | Fields of gold.

After that reflection, that was when I realised that contentment in life was not about walking through fields of gold. Of course, I always knew that it was so, but I never really understood it in my heart.

When we follow God’s will, it would not necessarily be easy. We may never walk through fields of gold, because God understands the temporal existence of wealth and success. In fact, God knows that at the end of the day, these things will count for nothing. Rapeseeds are never around all year long. They are seasonal, temporary, short-lived. And so will material wealth.

It’s like a house that is burning, and the man who lived there watches as it burns and disintegrates into ash. All the things that he had worked for in his life are all gone. Everything that defined him, his car, his wallet, his passport and his money – all engulfed into the flames. He has nothing else.

But God shows another type of wealth and harvest. One that concerns our heart, mind and spirit. So what if He doesn’t lead me through the fields of gold? As long as I am gold.

Through this journey with the Lord, and through the challenges that I face, may I myself become a treasure. May I live a life worthy of the gospel. May I live a life worthy for Him.

And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold’
Job 23:10

The point I’m trying to say is that God may or may not choose to bless me in the way that I want Him to. I might walk through fields of gold, by His grace, or I might never do so. He might lead to me a top firm, or He might give me a minimum pay job. I might get my grade, or I might not.

God might heal you, He might not. God might give you that promotion, He might not. But remember that God is sovereign and He has a plan for our lives. He knows what he’s doing – after all, He created the heavens and the earth by simply speaking. So how much more will He lovingly lead you along the paths that He has set for you.

What is more important is your heart, your journey to do His will so that your heart might be as pure as gold. Gold – treasure, purity, worth.

In whatever circumstances, I will learn to be content. I will learn to understand the finite existence of the world and its desires, and I will learn to grasp the eternity of my spirit and my life with God.

Exams. God’s will. Come what may.

 

So Lord, goldify me. 

Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands

Thank you Daphne for introducing this song to me. Indeed, God is sovereign through pain and joy, failure and success, gain and loss.